The beginning of my journey
I became a mother in April 2001. It was exciting, scary and filled with joy all at once. I remember looking down at this perfect little living being and realising how blessed we were to have her in our lives. The anticipation of what it was going to be like as a mother was now a reality.
There were words of wisdom coming from all directions, do this, don’t do that and remember that you need to be this type of a parent. Overwhelm kicked in along with the doubts about my parenting. I remember being sad when she cried because I had no clue what was going on for her and I had no clue what I needed to do to have her become settled and calm.
The pressure to breast feed was ever increasing and it was instilled in us that this is what is best for the baby. A question often asked was “You want what is best for the baby don’t you?” This planted yet another seed that my parenting skills were not great.
It did not seem like what was happening in my body was natural and if it was why did the baby not want to feed? The pain that I was in because the baby would not feed properly was incredible. Within 4 days I had mastitis and the Dr had to come on a public holiday to give an injection of antibiotics. My fear of needles kicked in and I was a total mess.
To be able to do what “is best for the baby” I would hand express and get the milk for her and then it would be ready for the next feed. This again was very taxing on me as a mother and the nagging from the experts that this is the absolute best for the baby was satisfied.
I know that all the words of wisdom and encouragement to breast feed were meant to have you feel better about what you were doing. The unresourceful conversations that were going on in my mind did not change with the impact of the words of those that were classed as the experts.
What I did understand in the early days and months of being a mum was that I was the expert on my baby. I was the one that was with her 24 hours a day 7 days a week. When I said to these experts that there was something wrong with her and she was not doing what I knew, as her mum, she should be doing. I was the one who knew my baby from the day that she was born – no-one else.
The goal as a parent is to find the experts in the industries that are there to support you and your baby that will listen to you. These experts will then do whatever there is that is to be done to get the final answer.
Belief in yourself and your knowledge about you and your baby is the only thing that you can count on.
In order to believe in yourself you first take steps to trust and be grateful for yourself. These steps give you the confidence to know that you are all that you need and all that there is to be hearing.
3 things you can do each night to build resourceful reference points for your subconscious mind:
- Each night as you go to sleep get out a notebook or journal and for the next 21 days write down 12 things that you are grateful for about you.
These things are not external to you. They are about you as a person, what you look like, who you are for yourself and for others.
- Write down 5 things that you instinctively knew to do and say throughout the day. Look at how you knew them and what made you follow the knowing of those situations.
- Write down 1 thing that you can acknowledge yourself for from the day.
The acknowledgement will be written similar to this:
I acknowledge myself for ………
This will give your subconscious mind the good things to concentrate on while you are sleeping. As you work through this process you are feeding your subconscious mind with enough fuel, with enough resourceful items to reference when there are challenges in your life.
Rediscovering your self-worth will provide you with reference points of success in who you are and gives you a point to build on.
The process of rediscovering your self-worth is valuable for you and for those that you are in contact with each and every day.
If you have a reaction that feels like it comes up all the time it is worth getting to the root of that reaction and discovering where that reaction comes from.
Call me now on 0408 940 658
skype me on ButterflyDawn4mums
email me on firstname.lastname@example.org and we can chat
The conversations that you have when you are a mum can be the making and breaking of your motherhood and your selfworth. Read the journey of Sarah, how much of what was going on meant that the unresourceful conversations lead her down a path of being unable to believe in herself and her knowledge.